get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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