Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
