my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
