Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
