Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
