with your own penis?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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