Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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