Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
