You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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