i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
