i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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