How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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