What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
