is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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