Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
