Buhtt sex?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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