it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
