1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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