i think i have herpe
just one?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
