I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
