Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
