Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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