my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
