Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
