Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
