Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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