ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
