I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
