My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize