Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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