Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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