I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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