so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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