Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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