it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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