it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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