3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
