I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
