someone threw a dead crab at me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
