I could have mohawked her pubes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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