oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
