Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
