when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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