Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize