i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
