): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
tell me about the eggs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
