she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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