That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
