You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize