Don't make out with my wife yet
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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