I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize