Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize