I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
