I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
