so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
