the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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