Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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