Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All the doctor said was why
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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