Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
