what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
