i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
