I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
