last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
