It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
